Serious Thinking

This is about to get heavy. I apologize.

My friend Arielle's mom died last night. It wasn't a suprise. She had been sick for a while, cancer. They had been preparing for it. Arie got married recently so that her mom could be at the wedding, and I think her family had been setting themselves up for it as much as they possibly could. As much as you can I guess.

To be selfish I wasn't really ready for it. I've been away pretty much as long as Marge had been sick. I hadn't been around to watch her go through chemo, to watch her get sicker and better, and then sicker again, over the past 2 years.

I got a message in class last night, and immediately I knew what it was. I called home, I called my friends, I called my mom, even though I didn't know exactly what to say to her.

My heart ached for Arie. I can't even think of what she is feeling, even though she knew it was coming. It is scary and sad for me in ways I can't imagine. The idea of living with out my mother terrifies me. It feels like we're growing up too fast, and this is the beginning of the time when people we love start to die.